Everyone wants someone in their lives that they can trust; who they feel has their back.
An important quality that people overlook in the beginning of many relationships is someone who has their back. What I am talking about is support! Support in doing what is right, support in accomplishing ones goals. This important quality is sometimes neglected, because many are infatuated with being in a new relationship.
I get it; you really like them! I know; they are super fine! I understand; you are tired of waiting and being alone! But don’t negotiate your core values in the dating process. It will come back to haunt you.
When you get married your spouse is your number one accountability partner. Therefore the person you are dating should show acts of encouraging you to do what is right, not pushing you to negotiate your values. Unfortunately, having an unsupportive spouse is a harsh reality for many married couples, because they over looked how important this is while dating. Don’t make the same mistake while dating!
You don’t want to be the only “mature Christian” in the relationship. The only one who is praying and seeking God’s guidance for your relationship. You don’t want to be the only one who is committed to godliness. You don’t want to be that person that has to beg their husband or wife to go to church. You don’t want to be the only one who is patient and forgiving, or mocked because you are spending time in devotion. Rather, you want someone who is going to spend time in devotion with you.
The temptation to be physically intimate is overwhelming at times. Therefore, the last thing you want is someone who is constantly pressuring you to have sex. Looking for every opportunity to push the limit, and to go to the next level till you give in. You should want someone who is going to value celibacy the same as you do. When you are weak and vulnerable you don’t fall to temptation, because they have your back. That’s a partnership! That is someone you should want to marry.
Want someone who is going to value your core values. Not someone who is going to continually challenge them. They value God, so they value God in you. They value God’s word and church, so they are partners with you in them. They value sustaining from sex till marriage, so they are not constantly waiting for you to put your guard down and trap you.
They value you! Therefore, they want to support you, and not conquer you!
Pastor Brian Wallace
Read more about this subject in a previous blog entitled why there is division in relationships.
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