How Are You Hurting Your Marriage, Because You’ve Been Hurt?

When you get married you make an agreement with your mate, but you also make a contract with God.

Part of that contract is to stand on the word of God and fight the right battle.   Sometimes when people are hurt (hurting marriage) they lose sight of that contract, and move away from the agreement they made. Most of us would agree, that no matter what our mate does; we should stay focused on our mission from God. In this post I will discuss staying on your mission, and how to prepare to do so. My hope is to generate thought on the question.

Am I honoring my contract with God?

1 Peter 3:9 is very clear on what you are not to do while standing on the word of God. You are not to render evil for evil. I asked my class,  “what are some ways you hurt your marriage, because you have been hurt?” They answered: we jump to conclusions, we cause arguments,  or we don’t communicate. If you were asked. I’m sure your list would look similar. The point is you can sometimes be led by self, and not by the Holy Spirit. When you seek to hurt others, because they have hurt you; you are not standing on the word of God.

Ephesians 6:12-18 helps us all to understand; we are indeed in a fight, but it is not with your mate.

Again, I asked my class, “how do you know you’re fighting the wrong battle?” They answered: when there’s continued discord, when you can’t find peace, when nothing changes, when you haven’t taken time to pray, when you’re out of sort with God, when you can’t find a solution, or when you keep hurting the one you love. If these, or something similar are your responses when trouble comes into your marriage. You need to take another look at 1 Peter 5:8. It is time to begin fighting the right fight, rather than the wrong one. You should begin your day dressed in the whole armor of God, clothed in prayer,and ready to fight the right fight.

Ask God to protect your mind, your heart, your tongue, and you from yourself.

Your mind, so that it will not think things that aren’t true. Your heart, so that it will not perceive things that are not true. Your tongue, so that it will not say hurtful things. You from yourself, so that you don’t become your own worst enemy.

Ask yourself, “Am I honoring my contract with God?”

Copyright: <a href=’′>bowie15 / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

Article by Fred Youngblood

3 replies added

  1. DeVorne James August 10, 2016 Reply

    These are excellent points. I am reading “You and Me Forever; Marriage in light of eternity”by husband & wife Francis & Lisa Chan. It all boils down to, not just marriage, but living life in light of eternity.

    • Pastor B Wallace August 10, 2016 Reply


      Thank you for taking the time to read our relationship blog. I have not heard of the book you are reading, but I will look into it. It sounds interesting. Please sign up for our email subscription and receive notification of when our latest blogs and podcasts are posted. Click here

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